Time to blog about it....

Sigh.

Double sigh.

It's been such a weird year.  So fresh on the high of having lost weight, I promptly forgot everything I learned, got ridiculously stressed out and depressed, and gained a bit back.  And by a bit I mean an entire stone.  I say a stone because I can't face the fact that I let myself gain 14 pounds back.

Ridiculous.

But I've learned, right?  I know what to do.  Weight Watchers works.  Exercise works.  When I work, it works.  And so slowly, I am getting back in the swing.

I've lost 4 pounds, I've run a 5K and an 8K race, and tried to stick to running 3 times a week and doing at least one Wii strength workout.  I can already see the difference in my body, and I feel better too, so I know it's working.

But for f-ck's sake, does it ever freaking end?  Is it ever just, "oh yes, there you are, normal weight, normal girl" life?

So while I relished the positives of it all...

Look at me, back in the swing!

And the post race amazing turkey sandwich, tomato and cheese salad, and potato salad...

I still feel like a giant tub o' lard.

So yeah, there's a million positives, but I still feel like a giant fatty who's kidding herself into thinking that she had ever made this whole weight loss thing work.  I mean, never mind the fact that I haven't been this weight (even THIS weight) for more than a decade.  Never mind the fact that as of my WW weigh-in this morning I am only 10 pounds over goal.  Never mind any of it.  I am just so freaking tired.

I read the book "The Amazing Adventures of Diet Girl"... have you read her blog?  So basically she lost half her body weight.  She looks amazing and has certainly had her share of ups and downs.  Parts of her story I completely related to and other parts just made me angry.  She dismisses doing Weight Watchers for the same reasons that I would never ever go to meetings, but also talks about how it is a crutch and she should be able to do it herself.  (And to her credit, she has done, so well done, mate!) but I find that I need that accountability.  I need to see those points moving along and tallying up.  I need that in order to know that I am on the right track.

One major change of the last almost two years on WW?  I love shrimp now.  I mean, this is a food that I literally would gag on and I absolutely love it now!  So score one for losing weight (while not 2 stones 2 pounds, I still can say I have lost 1 stone 2 pounds, which is pretty impressive)!